RefinedRealities

Explore the reality of parenthood beyond unrealistic expectations. Embrace the challenges and growth that come with raising a child, and discover the beauty of being a perfectly imperfect parent.

Most people think they know what it will be like to have kids, how it looks and even feels. The famous “I will do things differently when it’s my turn” or the idea of a perfect pregnancy, full of exercise routines, yoga sessions, and green juices—does this sound familiar?

I was that person. I had all these unrealistic expectations of what parenthood would look like and how it would be in the fantasy world I created. I went through life naively passing judgment without thought, unaware of the challenges waiting for me. We all grow up dreaming about the future we want and actively take steps to achieve it—but having a kid is different. They are little humans with personalities and directions of their own.

They take the lead, and we simply follow.

Having my son was the best thing that ever happened to me, but I wasn’t ready for the shift that would occur along the way. I am now a completely different person, still learning and adjusting to the new me.

I said, “This is the type of mum I will be—I won’t let my son see me fail, I won’t expose him to any of the toxicity I witnessed as a child.” As we grow, so does the world around us. When coming from generational trauma and we “get out,” the environment we create becomes the safe space we never had. It’s not perfect, but that’s okay.

Perfect doesn’t exist, and I would rather prepare my son for what life truly is, not let him live in a bubble that sets him up for failure. Life is hard, and you can’t control every moment; we can only decide how to respond. I feel that protecting my son means preparing him for anything, not allowing him to live in the false reality we try to make them believe.

We are doing our best for our children by continuing to show up. When we mess up—which we will do (a lot)—we will be accountable for our actions and show our kids that we will do better next time. We will show them that being kind to ourselves is just as important as being kind to others, and it will play a huge role in helping us grow. We can teach our kids that life is a journey, and to be the best version of yourself, it’s going to take being mindful, patient, and understanding.

Mistakes are promised, but lessons are a choice!

My priority is teaching my son how to respond to challenges and look after himself. I want him to thrive in this world and love abundantly while continuing to live life to the fullest. I want him to experience complete joy and happiness, never compromising on his worth. I believe character and resilience will allow my son to navigate through life in the best possible way.

So, does the perfect parent exist? The answer is NO, of course not, and they shouldn’t. We are perfectly imperfect, and that is non-negotiable.

Final Thoughts

Parenthood is a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns, challenging our preconceived notions and reshaping us in profound ways. Embracing our imperfections and learning from our mistakes allows us to grow alongside our children. What are your thoughts on the challenges and rewards of parenting? How have your experiences differed from your expectations? Share your insights and stories in the comments below. Let’s support each other in this beautifully imperfect journey.